i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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