Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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