nut hugger
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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