So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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