Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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