he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
