I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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