Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?

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(541): View more from Oregon

Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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(770): View more from Georgia

Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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(561): View more from Florida

Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

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(917): View more from New York City

I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

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(325): View more from Texas

how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night

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(248): View more from Michigan

I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

What about the best friend?

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