I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
