We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
