she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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