It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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