Walk of Shame. In a state park.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need to calm my uterus...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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