your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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