She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
