Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
