the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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