We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
