the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
