I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
