a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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