I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm at about main and main street
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize