you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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