Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
