There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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