What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
