Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
