On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
