I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
