in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
