Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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