Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize