Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
