It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
