After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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