guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
