no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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