I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
