I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
