You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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