Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
