just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
