We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
