My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
