One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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