Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
