Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
