Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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