Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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