butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
