Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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