Fine. I'll sleep in my office
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
